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My Baby's Birthday - Knight Stand
Wonders & Wanderings

Date: 2013-02-01 00:02
Subject: My Baby's Birthday
Security: Public
Location:Newark DE
Music:Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Tags:family, kayleigh
  Today marks the 21st anniversary of my daughter Kayleigh's birth.

  I've never held her, touched her, hugged her, dyed Easter eggs with her, helped with her homework, played catch with her, read bedtime stories to her, kissed her goodnight, or watched over her as she slept, as I did my stepchildren Lisa and Aaron, my son Matthew, or my many nephews, nieces, and young cousins.

  Kayleigh, conceived and born in Delaware, was parentally kidnaped -- that's the Federal legal term when one parent causes unilateral removal of a child from her "Home State", another legal term that refers to the State -- again under Federal and all 50 States' law -- when a child is under 6-months-old at the start of a legal action.

  My daughter was born on a Friday evening at Christiana Hospital in Newark, Delaware.

  My girlfriend Stephenie, the year before, from early 1990 until 1991, had resided in California with her unstable girlfriend Lyn Thomas.  Eventually, Lyn and Stephenie broke up, with Stephenie returning early on Easter morning, 31 March 1991.  I picked her up at Philadelphia International while my brother Jeff, down for the holiday with his children, stayed with them and my six-year-old son Math.

  I had met Stephenie when she was dating my sister Kimberly.  Stephenie became very attached to Math, first in Kim's company and then in mine.  Math, tragically, also came to love Stephenie very much.

  When I collected Stephenie from the airport that Easter Sunday, she was carrying the Lyn's dog that she had abducted when the two broke off their relationship.  What a harbinger I failed to recognize.

  Before dining at my grandmother's that afternoon, we stopped off the store for sundries, including tampons for Stephenie, who had run out on her cross-country trip.  Significantly, she used three from that box over the next day or so, and the box thereafter sat untouched until I gave it away to a female relative.

  We had spent her birthday, 4 April, in New Jersey with her parents, announcing our engagement.  Her father and mother were ecstatic that Stephenie was settling down after all those years with a guy.  Seven days later my uncle was killed by a drunk driver and Stephenie insisted that we conceive a baby right away because, as she said, "Something could happen to either of us."   We continued to have sex regularly over the next month.

  Steph only lightly spotted two weeks later, toward the end of April, but the home pregnancy test didn't show anything at the time, which I told her it likely wouldn't.  Those early home tests were not sufficiently sensitive and the hCG levels are typically only reliable with those kits available in the latter 90s after the first couple of weeks after conception.

  When I came home at lunch from my job around the corner at the beginning of June to find her passed off on the kitchen floor, the medical exam indicated she was about five weeks pregnant, or that she conceived toward the end of April.  Her estimated due date was the middle of January.

  Much later Stephenie would suggest that her gay friend Scott Garrison, who apparently died from complications of AIDS [non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is highly correlated with gay men and HIV], was possibly the father.  Except that while living and have regular sex with me, had told me over the years we knew each other, that she worried Scott was HIV-positive.  And there was the small matter of him residing in DC, that the two did not get together until after my grandmother's birthday on 7 May, when she was already a couple of weeks pregnant.

  When she attended Math's 7th birthday party celebrated on Saturday, 25 January 1992, she told me that if she hadn't the baby in the next week, her doctor was going to induce at the beginning of February.

  After Stephenie's mother Carolyn saw me arrive unexpectedly at the maternity recovery ward, she went into a huddle with the doctor and drew the curtains on the room.  When the ward nurse behind the plexiglass told me that a patient was coming through and I had to remain in the waiting room [across the corridor from her], I took one measured step backwards into the room with my toes aligned against the threshold, while the nurse glared at me.

  The gurney carried Stephenie and Kayleigh.

  I was the first one in line at Family Court Monday morning to file for emergency custody, arguing that I would never see my daughter if the Court didn't enjoin them from leaving the State.

  The judge denied my request stating that "there was no chance" of that happening.

  The only other time I saw my daughter was from the audience of her senior high play.

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User: arhyalon
Date: 2013-02-01 12:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
That is extremely sad! My prayers go out to you and to her.
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